Someone to Watch Over Me
by LunasInSilver
Summary: Jasper Whitlock, Maj, CSA was born in 1844 and changed in 1863. Mary Alice Brandon was born Oct 31, 1980. She was his salvation; he was the other half of her soul. How would their love survive the chaos and inhumanity of his bloody past and the innocent fragility of her human heart?
1. Prologue - What I Am

Disclaimer: I do not own nor receive monetary value from anything Twilight and created by Stephenie Meyer. I appreciate her generosity in allowing others to play with her creations and share the love. I claim my own characters and plots outside of her creations. At no time is any copyright infringement intended.

May, 1998

JPOV

The tinkling ring of a child's laughter bounced off the trunks of the trees around me as I crouched on my heels in a tall and thick grouping of ferns. The small rest stop was more secluded than usual for its kind along a fairly nameless and more scenic two-way highway. I wasn't really certain which highway it was, or even whether I was still in the US or had crossed into Canada. These distinctions rarely had meaning for me.

A part of my mind, the part perpetually concerned with survival, nudged at me to leave. Though there was only two humans, a mother and her child, and thus no true danger, instincts honed through nearly a full century of perpetual war twanged uneasily. And yet, the amused patience of the mother and the pure delight and excitement of the child held me. I closed my eyes briefly, savoring the clean emotions flowing through me. The sensations were like a balm to the tattered edges of my soul. Another part of my vampire's mind mused that there could not be a greater curse to one of my kind than to be an empath.

The child continued to skip and trot through wildflower dotted grass. She was enchanting, her brown hair slightly tangled, flowing behind her with her movements and making the golden highlights shimmer. I'd already noted the blue-hazel of her large doe eyes, the color now hidden with the crinkling arc of her laughter. A white moth, the current target of her entertainment, bumbled into the air. Another shriek of delight bounced around the artificial clearing as the child changed course to pursue.

A woman's voice, calling over the continued bubbling giggles, diverted my attention from the low-grade burning surging along my throat. Reflexively, I swallowed.

"Virginia! Come back where I can see you!"

Obediently, the child altered her footsteps, her delight in her impromptu game unfazed. An errant breeze ruffled the grass around her before flowing toward me. Instinctively, I inhaled deeply and the burning along my throat increased to a brisk blaze. I remained rooted among the thick ferns and I felt a grin spread across my face. It was manageable. Pleased with my small personal milestone of control against the siren lure of human blood, I continued to watch the girl play.

Beneath my central focus of attention, another thread of thought wound its way through my brain. It had been six months since I'd actually tasted human blood. Ever since I'd learned there was an alternative for our kind, that it was actually possible to exist on animal blood and not our natural prey, I'd endeavored to refrain. Thus far, I'd met with mixed results. This latest, staying near a human woman and child, was another step in my exercises to widen and test my tolerances.

Most of my kind would not have bothered. Were I honest with myself, had I not been an empath, neither would I. Human blood was exquisite and capable of eradicating the thirst that was the ever burning torture of my kind. Animal blood, far less appetizing and incapable of fully relieving the burn, was a poor substitute. Yet, the emotions of my natural prey, the fear, horror, grief, despair and yes, even pain with their death, was another torture that I was nearly desperate to escape.

It had been 50 years since I'd first encountered Carlisle Cullen and his coven, his family as he preferred to call it. With my crystal clear and indelible memory, I still remember my amazement and disbelief. I remember my distaste when I'd learned of their alternate food source. I remember my instinctive unease at their golden eyes and easy, refined manner. I had spent nearly a century among wildly feral vampiric newborns and their only slightly less feral creators. The lack of malicious ambition, aggression, and rampant hatred within the Cullen cov-family had left me dazed and curious. And, honestly, wary. Even yet, after all these years, I continually found myself waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for their "true natures" to show, even when my unique ability showed me their compassion, commitment, and honesty was unfeigned.

My fascination with the Cullens kept me traveling the Pacific Northwest. I kept tabs on them during my nomadic journeying. I was a fairly frequent visitor to their homes. I rarely stayed long, however. My sporadic control and respect for the monumental effort they maintained in order to blend in with human society compelled me to keep my visits short. Even though I yearned to stay as I was never happier than when I was among them. They were so different from anything I'd ever encountered in this existence.

"Virginia, time to eat, sweetie. Come eat your sandwich." As her mother called her, my sharp hearing heard the child's stomach growl. I smiled again, amused at how such a sound could sound so... innocent. Simultaneous with a renewed breeze blowing toward me, Virginia's inexpert feet snagged on a semi-buried tree root. The impact and slide on the ground released the mouth-watering burst of fresh blood from the scrapes. Instantly holding my breath, I bolted from my hide, frantically seeking distance as venom exploded in my mouth. I WILL NOT give in.

A mile from the rest stop, I halted my dash, unneeded air gasping through my teeth as I griped the trunk of a friendly tree. Sweet god that was close! Closing my eyes, I monitored the burn in my throat, waiting for the inferno to subside. Around me, the breeze was the only sound, whispering through the leaves overhead. As my gasping eased, the sounds of the small animals around me filtered into my attention... the rapid flutter of panicked heartbeats, the whir of anxious wings. One finger at a time, I eased my grip on my tree, automatically furring the indentations my grip had left in the bark with my fingertips. I was lost to time, absorbed in the natural stillness of my kind, striving to regain the semblance of serenity I'd so recently lost.

Dual screams, faint with distance, pierced my ears and I was off, running faster over my own trail. The instinctive chivalry of my human upbringing impelled my flight even as the part of my mind assigned to self-preservation shrieked at me to stop. My multifaceted vampiric mind took the time to marvel at myself. If asked, I'd have scoffed at the notion that any of my humanity had survived the brutal years of my life as an undead monster. Apparently, I was wrong again as I raced to discover the cause of the screams, anxious to protect the two females I'd usually see as merely prey.

Bursting through the bordering ferns of the rest stop, and sliding to a sudden halt, I instantly absorbed the scene before me. The bubbling laughter and laughing eyes that had so entranced me now lay silent and blank as death lay in testament of a broken neck. Snarls ripped from my gut as a blast of maniacal rage hit me from the piece of filth taking its pleasure from the broken creature that had been the child's mother even as he plunged his knife into the side of her chest again. How had I missed this? How had he approached so close without me sensing?

Moving so fast that even my vampire's mind didn't fully and consciously register the speed, I gripped the greasy hair of the human and pulling him off of her and into my arms. Unlike most times, I barely registered his emotions as I began to drain him; my entire attention wrapped around the broken grief of Virginia's mother as she stared at the unmoving form of her lovely child. Her anguish crested over me in a wave, the combination of her flowing blood and disbelieving grief overwhelmed my defenses and drove me into an unthinking frenzy of pure instinct. I came back to myself as the last of the blood filled my mouth. Opening my eyes, I gasped. My anguished cry splintered the air as I fell to my knees still cradling Virginia's mother's bloodless body. A body I'd just finished draining. In the end, I'd been no less of a monster than the one that had wiped Virginia's smile off the earth.


	2. Chapter 1 - Invitations

Disclaimer: I do not own nor receive monetary value from anything Twilight and created by Stephenie Meyer. I appreciate her generosity in allowing others to play with her creations and share the love. I claim my own characters and plots outside of her creations. At no time is any copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 1 – Invitations

August, 1998

JPOV

Rare sunlight filtered through the dense trees, dappling the ground with bright color in contrast to the usual shadows. Automatically, I avoided the bright spots even though my depression made it hard to care whether dull human eyes might spot an unexpected sparkle from my skin. Enough time and animal blood had faded my eyes to just a shade more orange than the usual golden amber. Despite the time and miles I'd invested, the events of the rest stop continued to haunt me. I'd kept to the wild lands, avoiding all contact, human or otherwise. I had no destination in mind, no plan or purpose, just an aimless wandering and a need to avoid contact.

A gust of air shifted direction and suddenly blew toward me from a clearing to my left. The cool, sweet scent of vampire and the sense of another's emotions sent me slinking in a defensive crouch at right angles to the continuing breeze. I recognized the scent, but annoyance that I'd let another vampire approach this close without me noticing his emotions, ignited my temper. Lately, my emotional state had been a fragile and unpredictable thing, even to myself. The telltale sound of a body blurring at vampiric speed nearby had me at full alert. A growl of warning left my lips even as I braced for an attack, the habits and instincts built in a century of unrelenting bloody war dictated my reactions. Reactions that the rest of me just couldn't muster the energy or desire to contradict. Right now, I was as feral, deadly, and unpredictable as any of the newborns unfortunate to man Maria's army. It was just beyond me to give a damn.

A lean shape darted around a final tree and into my line of sight, freezing in the characteristic immobility of our kind, surprise and wariness etched across his face. Moving in human speed, he raised his hands, palms down, in a gesture of peace.

"Jasper? Take it easy. It's just me. Edward."

EPOV

I'm sure my face did not entirely hide the shock I felt. The vampire crouched before me did not really resemble the man I'd known for lo these 50 years. Jasper had always been slightly feral, a bi-product of his past and his nomadic life. That was not really part of my surprise, though he'd never before had quite such an aura of danger and hair-triggered menace despite the instinctual reaction his scars tended to evoke in our kind. No, what had left me a bit shocked was the rest of his appearance. Despite his lifestyle, Jasper had always taken care of his appearance and carried himself in a way evocative of his military background as a human. But today, his clothing was worn and tattered and quite filthy. His shoulders were slumped and his eyes looked peculiarly dead beneath the blackness of his thirst.

Jasper's thoughts hummed with the typical vampiric multiple focus. But instead of the sharp, insightful brilliance I associated with him, I found apathy and swirling self-hatred almost buried beneath the hum of instinct. I also saw flashes of memories that almost made me pause. I'd never encountered a mature vampire that so closely resembled the untamed chaos of a newborn. I locked down on my own instinctive need to match his defensive crouch with one of my own, sensing that it just might trigger a more offensive action on Jasper's part. Clearly, he needed help and that is what friends do.

First things first. Working to stay calm, I spoke softly. "Come on, man. I caught the scent of a pack of wolves not far from here. Join me, then we'll head for the house. Looks like you could use a change and you know Esme would expect you to stop when she finds out you were so close." Jasper studied me a moment. And then my only response was a slight nod and an okay in his mind.

I suspected he'd never allow me behind him in this state, so despite the tingle of warning in my own bones, I turned and resumed heading in the direction of the wolf pack I'd sensed earlier. I heard Jasper move up to my side as we started running and I was careful to stay matched to his speed. It was easy and natural running with Jasper. As usual, the exuberance of running made me start to grin and knowing Jasper's gift, I put part of my focus in working to emphasize feelings of trust, friendship, and calm. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched his expression lift. Good.

We hadn't been far from the pack. There were five wolves in all. I held back, not letting myself slide into the hunt. I wanted Jasper to get his fill first. I hoped slacking his thirst would help with the killing depression I'd caught in his thoughts. I slowed and angled slightly, allowing Jasper to gain distance while I stayed within his line of sight. I'd treat my friend as the newborn he so resembled. I was fairly certain that Jasper wouldn't take offense to my actions and his thoughts confirmed it. He felt me merely prudent and wise. It struck him as a natural response resonating with his own ingrained training.

We were downwind of the pack and as Jasper took his first kill, I pulled my cell from my pocket and sent my family a fast text explaining the situation. Jasper wasn't in a shape to bring to my family without warning. I caught a brief flicker of an amused thought. Depressed or not, Jasper hadn't missed my actions and had correctly guessed what I was doing.

As he finished his third, I caught in his thoughts that he was done and I slid into the hunt. I swiftly finished the last two, always keeping Jasper within my sight. It didn't take us long at all to clean up after ourselves, and I was pleased with how much the hunt had helped him. He'd yet to sink back into a defensive stance with me. I chose to see that as significant progress.

"You ready?" I asked.

"Yeah. Lead the way," he responded. I saw in his mind the decision to give a slap to my shoulder and then saw the conclusion that it wasn't worth the effort. I hid a frown at the apathy dragging at his thoughts. Yet another piece of evidence that there was something far more wrong than simple thirst. Smoothly, we flashed into the easy speed of our kind, moving without urgency, but still fast enough to blur in the slow senses of humans, had there been any to see us.

Our house was nestled in a cul-de-sac valley between Juneau and Vancouver on the BC side of the line. Like all our houses, this was situated out of the way and off the human's popular hunting and hiking trails. This place was a sprawling ranch, with several outbuildings scattered around a common open air court. Esme had renovated the smaller buildings into bedroom suites, keeping the rooms in the main house for her and Carlisle and various guest rooms. I was particularly fond of this place as I was allowed space from the mated pairs. It especially gave me distance from Rosalie and Emmett's enthusiastic excesses. Given our sensitive senses and my gift, it wasn't precisely enough space but I was grateful nonetheless. Besides, the thick log walls were providing gratifying sound proofing.

We had slowed to a walk as we approached. I didn't sense Emmett or Rosalie, so it was apparently only Carlisle and Esme at home. They stood together on the porch, Esme behind Carlisle, with her hands on his shoulder and bicep. A quick glance showed them both struggling to hide their surprise and concern.

"Jasper, it's good to see you." Carlisle greeted, as Jasper and I stopped at the base of the steps to the porch.

"Carlisle, Ms. Esme." Jasper's voice was uninflected and dull, and I saw Esme's hands tighten on Carlisle.

_Poor boy, _Esme's thoughts were tight with her compassion and concern.

_What has happened to leave him in this state? _Carlisle's mind was also concerned but with an additional tone of caution. I met Carlisle's eyes and flicked my gaze away from the house, letting him know we needed to talk.

Esme, smiling at Jasper, spoke, "Come in, Jasper. Feel free to clean up, then you can catch us up on your travels." She moved toward the door and I started to follow her with Jasper.

_No, Edward. I'll be okay. _She turned her head to smile at me reassuringly.

"Thank you, Ms. Esme. I don't want to be a bother."

"It is never a bother, you are always welcome." Esme opened the door and proceeded Jasper inside. Carlisle and I heard her continue, "I've some clothing I was going to alter for Edward. They should fit and you are welcome to them."

I didn't hear a response from Jasper. Carlisle and I waited until we heard the water in the shower start and the sound of Esme's feet on the kitchen tile. She didn't waste any time, as anxious as Carlisle to hear what I had to say.

_I take it, you know what has happened?_

I nodded as I answered Carlisle with a whisper, "The details are his to tell, but basically he quit seeing them as prey and then slipped." Carlisle's expression tightened with his empathy as Esme gasped sharply.

_Poor, poor boy._

Before anything else was said, Esme patted Carlisle on the shoulder then with a determined expression flashed back into the house. Neither Carlisle nor I said a word, recognizing the signs. That expression meant Esme intended to be nothing less than a force of nature. Silently we both made our own way into the house.

JPOV

Standing in the Cullen's elaborate shower and letting the hot water run I had to admit felt extremely good. Even the mood I was in didn't lessen my enjoyment much. Wait. Enjoyment? How long had it been since I'd felt anything but disgust or really nothing? Reflexively, I tried to recapture the numbness. I didn't want to feel anything. I felt the need to leave, to run, as it rose from somewhere deep. Yes. Time to go. Go before something happened. I turned the shower off and stepped out grabbing one of the fluffy towels Esme had left out for me. I exited the bath and dried myself off sketchily. I glanced around the room and then reached for the clothing laid on the foot of the bed. I felt the unfamiliar feeling of a grin cross my face briefly. Esme had been correct. The clothing that was slightly too big for Edward, fit me perfectly. I looked ruefully at my boots. Really there was no point in bothering with them. They were worn to the point that it was quite possible that the stress of fitting around the sole of my stone foot would cause the sole of the boot to give way entirely. Either way I'd end up being bare foot so I didn't bother. It was definitely time to go now.

Leaving the bedroom I flashed down the hall. I felt myself freeze as the emotions of concern, determination, empathy, and love washed my awareness. Wait. Love? That confused me. Esme flashed into the room before me while my confusion continued to hold me still.

"Jasper, you are looking better." Esme gave me her soft smile.

"Ms. Esme, I want to thank you for your generosity. I'll be takin' my leave and not trouble you further."

"Nonsense. You are never trouble. Jasper, please stay with us. Let us help you."

"Ms. Esme, I..."

"No. I won't hear it. You've been asked to join us for years. You've declined every time. It's time you came up with a different answer. You are like one of my sons, and I'm no longer willing to have you go your own way. You need us, and we need you. Stay. Please."

I found myself looking at her helplessly, without the energy to fight her gentle statements. Behind me, Carlisle spoke, "We can help you with hunting. You don't have to risk slipping again. And your knowledge and presence can only be a help, never a hindrance. Stay with us, son."

The pleas in Esme's eyes were my undoing. Giving her a small bow, I spoke, "It would be my honor and my pleasure to accept your kind invitation, Ms. Esme. As long as I'm an asset and not a hindrance, I'll remain here. Thank you." Esme beamed as I turned to shake Carlisle's and Edward's hand. Inside, something that was always tight, loosened just a bit. I think I just might be home.


	3. Chapter 2 - Light and Dark

Disclaimer: I do not own nor receive monetary value from anything Twilight and created by Stephenie Meyer. I appreciate her generosity in allowing others to play with her creations and share the love. I claim my own characters and plots outside of her creations. At no time is any copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 2 – Light and Dark

Thurs, March 11, 1999

Alice POV

This book, despite the rather dry writing, was actually pretty interesting. My left hand tracked the line I was reading as my right skimmed across the page. The book, a presentation on Lincoln, presented facts and viewpoints that were quite contrary to the accepted histories pertaining to his time. I was reading it as part of an assignment for class but I found myself stopping to contemplate it more than usual. Had he actually offered the southern state's representatives the option to make slavery legal for them forever in exchange for their promise to not secede? That certainly contradicted the current image of him as being a humanitarian before his time. I continued to read on. Here and there, a small fact would be presented causing me to pause. The Emancipation Proclamation actually only applied to the Confederate States after the war started, and had no effect on the slaves who still existed north of the Mason-Dixon line. It was, as the book argued, an illegal order applied to foreign soil in a strategic effort to weaken a nation which had entered a war with the Union. I'd never seen it in that light. Just wow. The more I read, the more fascinated I became.

I had lost track of time to the point that the door opening made me jump. Sunshine flashed across my face whiting my sight as a merry voice giggled then exclaimed, "Alice! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. What are you buried in that you didn't hear me unlocking?"

My sight returned to the usual wash of dark blur as Belinda closed the front door behind her. "No worries, was just reading this book on Lincoln for history class. How was your day?" I replied, as I closed the overly large book and placed it carefully on the coffee table in front of me. I automatically tracked Belinda's footsteps as she moved into the room, the clinking of her keys into the bowl on the shelf beside the foyer, and the thud of her backpack on the coat rack seat happening almost simultaneously.

"Meh. Sociology was utterly boring. I swear if I didn't need the credit I'd have no choice but fall asleep. Dr. Jones' ability to drone is unbelievable!" I chuckled in sympathy having survived that particular class last year.

Belinda came around the end of the couch and flopped down with an exclamation, "Oh! Guess what!"

"Umm, what?" Pictures flashed across my mind, but nothing really stuck or caught enough of my attention to make sense.

"Steve asked me out! Can you believe it?" We squee'd together, both hugging and bouncing. She'd admired him forever, occasionally getting to go to study groups with him. This was the first time for her to get a sign that he was interested as well. I was thrilled for her.

After we caught our breath, I sat back. I was sure that my face would soon split from the happy smile I was boasting. Cocking my head to the side, I asked, "So, when's..."

At the same time, Belinda burst out, "We're all..."

Laughing, she said, "Go ahead."

Giggling, I bounced a little from my excitement, "I was asking when's your date?"

"Tomorrow night. We're getting the gang together and I was hoping you'd go to." She finished in a rush.

I blinked in surprise. "What. Go with you and Steve? On your date? Why would you want me to? Doing what?"

"We're going to dinner and clubbing. The gang is making it a group date and it would be a perfect time for you to get out."

"Oh, god B, I don't know." Me? Clubbing? Historically that has been such a bad idea. Ill defined dread clenched my stomach.

"Please? For me? I promise nothing will happen but a good time." She grabbed my hand and placed it against her cheek so I could feel her pouting.

"Low blow, B. You know I can't say no to the pout." I sighed. Belinda did so much for me. It couldn't be easy to be a roommate to a blind person, even though I was paying her. Guilt started creeping in, chastising me for thinking of saying no. But how could they have fun with me as the tag-along. I couldn't see, and the loudness of the music that was usual for clubs meant I couldn't hear either. Surely Belinda had thought of this?

"Please, Alice? We'll all want to sit and take breaks, we won't leave you alone. It'll be fun. Come with us! Get out and live a little. Dance with a cute guy. Several cute guys. We'll even go shopping. Whatcha say?" A slow grin started spreading across my face. I really couldn't say no to that tone, and I already knew about the pout. I pushed the roiling on my stomach away. It was just nerves. This could be fun.

I relished the feel of the silk babydoll top against my skin. Belinda described the color as being a red burgundy with bright red threads running randomly through the weave. A dusky dark antique gold celtic chain stitching decorated the hem and edges. I loved the feel of natural fiber fabrics, but if you wanted anything beyond cotton, it generally required designer labels. Fortunately, my parents and my brother made sure that I was financially secure and taken care of. Mickie. God, how I missed my brother!

I barely remember my parents, both having been killed in an airplane crash when I was six. I was a late baby for my parents. My brother was already a teenager when I was born. Despite there being 15 years difference between us, I don't think it was possible to find two siblings closer than he and I. He was both my father and my brother, my protector and teasing tormentor. After our parents died, he took over taking care of me as naturally as breathing. I became his world. He was already mine.

I certainly always thought he took my diagnosis and pending blindness harder than I. I would never forget the stunning pain as the aneurysm burst behind my left eye. I was nine at the time. Surgery repaired it and its match behind my right eye. But that was only the beginning. As the edges of my sight blurred, I was eventually diagnosed with non-pressure glaucoma. Which was a very fancy way to describe the fact that my body wasn't providing my optical nerves quite enough blood to live. I was never quite clear if it was scar tissue or some natural failure separate from the surgery, but as my doctor once told Mickie, it really didn't matter whether it was a metaphorical Ford or Chevy that hit me. The fact was this: I was going to go blind. Mickie refused to believe it. He took me from specialist to specialist, always keeping an eye out for the latest research and the next hopeful treatment. He went to his grave believing that my cure was just around the corner.

"Alice, hey try these on. It's a lovely spring green button down. The sleeves can be rolled up into a three-quarter sleeve with a button strap. I've a emerald green tank top to go under it and dusty gray jeans. The jeans will be stunning with both of those tops. Mix and match, ya gotta love it!" Belinda's voice cut through my reverie. I smiled as I removed the top and the inky blue jeans. I loved how those jeans fit. Taking them off was like peeling an onion, but they were still so comfortable. With luck the next pair would fit just as well. We continued on, Belinda dressing me like a life-sized barbie doll and me listening intently to her descriptions while flashes of scenes like still pictures danced through my head.

"Next stop, shoes and lingerie!" Belinda announced with a giggle, patting my hand resting on her arm. Most times, when someone acted as a sighted guide, I'd either have my hand tucked into their elbow or gripping the back of their upper arm. With Belinda, it was far easier to grip her forearm. She was bouncy and sometimes hard to tell whether she was bouncing or stepping up. Her forearm gave me both the leverage to remind her to stop bouncing and the spacial awareness to guess just what she was doing. But I loved her anyway for her zany ways and nature that so fit my own. As usual, her giggle triggered my own and we continued through the mall snickering.

"Here we are!" Belinda announced, like always. I smirked. Like I didn't know we were home. "I'll go get the rest of the haul."

"Sure," I replied. Moving into the living room, my arms full of bags and my cane, I listened as she stepped back out. Taking a deep breath of relaxation, I made my way to my closet and started putting away my new pretties. I'd managed to keep the trip to a modest size, going for quality rather than quantity. Three full outfits, 2 sets of shoes, and 4 sets of lingerie. Even though I couldn't see me, I loved the feeling of feeling sexy. Belinda helped as much as she could, giving meticulous descriptions helping me draw mental pictures and filling out the details that my hands couldn't give me. I wistfully wished I could actually still see. But it was what it was. At least I was able to build clear images in my head. I was very pleased with how I imagined it all, anyway.

"I'll put the rest of the bags on the bed. Do you want your salad now, or wait?"

"Thanks. Umm, later I think. I'll put these away first." Belinda wasn't in the humor to cook and I was not in the humor to eat out. We'd compromised and stopped at a favorite drive up and got a chef salad and breadsticks for each of us to bring home.

"Okay. Bagger later?" Belinda inquired.

"Sounds good." I loved listening to _The Legend of Bagger Vance. _The soundtrack was haunting and the story touching. Belinda also loved the cinematography so we both adored the movie. I've yet to get tired of it. I carefully folded my new undies, but left them on the dresser top. I knew Belinda would add the braille tags to all my new clothes so that I could tell which was which by touch. But there was time enough later. With a pleased pat, I whirled on my toes and bounced out of the room. I was still careful to not think about the reason for the shopping spree. I just continued to enjoy the shopping therapy endorphins while I could.

I was quite successful in avoiding my unease while I was awake. I wasn't willing to admit to myself the dread Belinda's invitation had inspired. Unfortunately, my defenses were down once I fell asleep.

_Hot kisses trailed from my ear to my shoulder, leaving tingles in their wake. Oh god! Abruptly, he moves back to my face, leaving drool on my chin and cheek before meeting my lips and demanding entrance for his tongue. Ugh. His right hand grabs my left breast and kneads hard, but there's no real tenderness. Just a perfunctory groping. He's rubbing against my thigh, breathing hard but my tingling has gone. I'm not even __breathing faster. I want the tingling back! I run my hands up his chest and to the back of his neck, hoping to urge him to slow down. Shifting his knee, he urges my legs apart, settling in. Wait! That's it? "Baby, wait." I whisper._

_ He gives a groan, "Can't wait. Want you." And with that, he thrusts, seeking my entrance. I'm so not ready. I wriggle just a little, trying to deny him. This is just not right._

_ "Scott. Wait a minute. I can't do this." I push against his chest and he freezes._

_ He gives a huff of displeasure. "What's wrong. It was going so good. Don't be that way."_

_ "No. I just can't. Not yet. I'm sorry. Please?" I reach again, seeking his shoulders._

_ With another huff and a muttered comment that I can't catch with the blood being so loud in my ears, Scott shoves off of me and off the bed as I lay there stunned. What the hell just happened? I feel his eyes on me and I swear my blush hits my toes. Suddenly I'm worried that I'm not pretty, that maybe I'm not sexy enough to be cherished and made love to. Just only good enough to get him off. Trying to regain ground and the mood, I give him a smile. "Scott?"_

_ His voice cold, I hear, "It's your turn to have the shower first." I listen with disbelief as his steps leave the room. Stunned, I lay in the bed trying to wrap my head around what just happened. After a while, I get up, suddenly inspired with an idea of how to salvage the evening. Taking a shower doesn't necessarily mean just one at a time. Smiling, I leave the bedroom, only to pause as Scott's voice reaches me. From the sound, I decide he's on the phone on the porch beyond the kitchen. Something makes me pause before I catch his attention._

_ "... Yeah, you'd think," Scott gives a sardonic little laugh. "She's such a cock tease. You'd think being blind and all she'd be more desperate. Christy's great, but blind fucking is such strange nookie. I don't have to worry about my expressions or being sure to look in her eyes. I try not to. It's creepy." Silence for a few while my heart is shattering. I'm shaking trying to keep the disbelief, the rage, the hurt, and the tears in. I feel the blood leaving my face, and my lips are stiff and numb from my emotions. "Yeah, I'll give it a day or two. She'll be all wriggly and hot and anxious and not so willing to cock block then. Yeah, dude, catch ya. We'll down a cold one..."_

I was gasping as I jerked awake. Dear god, it has been ages since that particular memory came calling to haunt. Everything is silent, the only sound is the whoosh of the heater through the vents. From the feel I'm on the couch. I must have fallen asleep during the movie. Rubbing my face, I get up and head for my bedroom and crawl into my bed. The dream and subsequent memories of later events have reminded me why I don't date. Why I don't trust. Why on earth did I accept Belinda's invitation? Echoing words burn me and haunt me.

_Creepy._

_ Desperate._

_ Strange nookie._

The need to hear Mickie's voice was overwhelming and tears started prickling down my face. Shuddering I curled up into a ball and wrapped my arms around my chest. It was shaping up to be a very long night.


	4. Chapter 3 - Plus 1

Disclaimer: I do not own nor receive monetary value from anything Twilight and created by Stephenie Meyer. I appreciate her generosity in allowing others to play with her creations and share the love. I claim my own characters and plots outside of her creations. At no time is any copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 3 – Plus 1

Alice POV

I woke the next morning, hung over from too many tears and not enough sleep. Grief for Micky lingered. It had been 5 months since he'd been found in his car at the bottom of some nameless playa lake down in Texas. Although the investigation into his homicide was labeled "ongoing," there was apparently little evidence and even fewer leads. The only sparse comfort I could claim was that he did not choose to leave me by committing suicide. I was still angry with him, even as I hurt for him. How dare he put himself in a position to be killed? Damn it, I need him!

Wiping the stray tears off my face, I stumbled into my bathroom. I was too weary to decide whether I was more angry or hurt right now. Did it matter? I shrugged to myself as I started the water running in the sink while I tended to the rest of the morning's necessities, ending with washing my face. Continuing to push thoughts of Micky aside, I brushed the sleep tangles from my hair and pulled it up into a ponytail. I planned on washing it when I showered later. I didn't plan on going anywhere this morning, so I left my comfortable pajamas on. Who was to see? Belinda wouldn't care.

The apartment was quiet, telling me that Belinda was probably not yet up. I wasn't really hungry, but smiled at the aroma of fresh coffee. Bless her, B had remembered to set the pot! Pouring myself a cup, I made my way to the patio. I loved the feeling of the sun on my face, and today was especially pleasant with a light cool morning breeze. Errant thoughts of Micky and Scott kept flitting through my mind, but I kept pushing them away. I was very tired of the topics and didn't want to think about any of it anymore. But that only led to the date thing tonight. I frowned as I rolled the cup between my palms. To go or not to go.

A light step was accompanied by a cheerful, "Good morning, Alice!" The patio chair creaked faintly as Belinda sat down across from me. A pause then, "Rough night?"

"Good morning, B. Yeah."

"Want to talk about it?" Belinda's voice was warm with concern.

"Not really. Just the same old, same old." I returned to contemplating the question of the day.

"Nuh uh, none of that! You are going, and you are going to have fun! I promise!" Belinda was firm. Too firm for so early in the day.

I smiled ruefully. "You know me too well. When did you start reading minds?"

"Pfft. It is written all over your face. I've a few errands to run this morning. Did you want to go with, or are you content to stay here?"

Neither option had much appeal. I shrugged. "I'll stay here and putter around."

"M,kay. Did you want me to cook some breakfast?"

"Nah. I'll grab some cereal if I get hungry. Or I may just wait and scrounge around for something for lunch."

We settled into a companionable silence. Belinda was an easy roommate. Her bright and bubbly nature was difficult to be gloomy around. Yet, she also knew how to just be. As I was starting to decide that the sunshine was a bit too hot, Belinda stirred. "I better start thinking of getting dressed and heading out if I intend to have all this done today. Want a refill before I go?"

"That would be lovely, thanks!" I followed her into the apartment. The sunshine was definitely moving away from enjoyable. Belinda filled my cup and handed it to me, before filling her own.

"Need anything while I'm out?"

"No, I'm good. Thanks. Have fun." I found myself fiddling with my cup and brought it up to sip, instead. Ouch! Man, it was hot! I set it down and listened to the sounds of Belinda getting dressed. Determined to not fall further into a funk, I turned my mind firmly to the evening. Okay, so I was indeed going. Images flashed through my imagination. A dimly lit room with a two-tiered floor, the edges filled with tables and chairs, the center filled with people dancing. Golden eyes staring at me from a very pale face. Beautiful eyes, but a really odd color. Almost a metallic gold, and a feeling that they would change with... Mood? That had the right flavor, but not quite. I felt like the correct interpretation was much like almost having the right word. Almost there, but not quite. Beautiful face. Intriguing. Slightly alarming, yet also very comforting. Me, sitting at a table, the green tops and grey jeans looking just so...

"Okay, off I go." Belinda's cheerful voice shattered my moment of daydreaming.

Smiling, I waved her on. "Have fun."

"Will do. Call if you need me." I nodded, though I wasn't entirely sure she was looking at me. Sliding off the stool, I crossed the room and reached for my backpack. My daydream slipped from my mind; no longer considered. I could pass the time working on homework and perhaps a bit of cleaning.

*SMTWOM*

The evening had certainly started well. My homework and cleaning efforts had successfully kept my mind from my depressing night. Belinda had returned in plenty of time to help me with my hair and makeup and an earring I'd been unable to locate in the box that served as my jewelry box. Belinda described her choices as a blue-gray eye shadow with gray contrasts and highlight. With the eye liner, she described the results as a "wonderful smoky look," whatever that means. She was pleased and I trusted her about it. Blue glitter dust adorned my temples and an understated blush defined my cheeks. I rarely wore lipstick and tonight would be no exception. I kept a lip gloss instead. Belinda always assured me that I really didn't need lipstick, or even makeup for that matter. In general, I agreed with her, though not for the reasons she'd state. Makeup was a pain; there was no way I could actually apply it myself and did I really want to enhance attention to my eyes? I shoved the thought away, again. I'd allowed Belinda to persuade me to go all out for tonight. In any event, I thought I was pleased with the picture in my head. The two-toned green tops, gray jeans, dark kitten heeled booties and silver jewelry was casual and understated. Belinda had left my hair down, just pulling the sides up and back so that my long, slender earrings were visible curving to frame my jawline. The combs holding my hair were antiques, the silver filigree dotted with emerald chips. My necklace was a silver heart locket on a very light chain, a gift from Mickie. I knew there was a picture of me and Mickie inside, even though I was no longer able to see it. Two light bangle bracelets and a silver rope pinkie ring along with my dark leather jacket completed the ensemble. Belinda was pleased with the overall effect, and I was too I decided. I found myself bouncing on my toes while I waited for B to finish getting ready.

I heard Belinda come out of her room just as the doorbell rang. Since I was closest, I went to answer it. As I opened the inner door, Steve's voice greeted me. "Hi, Alice."

I smiled. "Steve, come on in." I unsnapped the lock and stepped back.

"Wow. You ladies look stunning. Bel, these are for you." The distinct crinkle of floral wrap and a whiff of flowers made my heart clench. Holy cats, he brought her flowers! I was blushing at his compliment even as my heart fluttered at the gentility of Steve bringing Belinda flowers.

"Thank you, they're lovely! Gimme just a sec to put these in water." Belinda's shoes clacked on the kitchen floor.

"Sure, take your time. We're still a few minutes early." Steve replied. After a few seconds, he asked, "So, Alice. How's classes?"

"They're good. Looking forward to Break. How about yourself?"

"Oh, I hear ya. Is it me, or does the spring semester seem longer than the fall?"

I laughed. I hadn't ever thought about it, but the spring semesters did seem to last longer than the fall ones did. "Now that I think about it, I think you are right."

"We ready?" Belinda's cheerful voice saved us from letting the conversation devolve into uncomfortable banality.

"We are. Ladies? After you."

*STWOM*

It didn't take us long to get to the restaurant. It was a little hole-in-the-wall, word of which had been making the rounds on campus as having amazing food and atmosphere. I liked that the acoustics were nicely muffled. Instead of the usual cold and sharp sounds that bounced off large rooms full of tile floors and brick walls, the sound was well deadened giving the place a warm and soft feel. I liked it already.

Our reservations were immediately available and the rest of the gang had already been seated. "The Gang" as Belinda habitually referred of them, consisted of members of her usual study group and their significant others. I knew a couple of them: John and his wife, Abby, and Lex and his long-time girlfriend, Olivia. The rest I was only familiar through conversations with Belinda.

The food was excellent. The conversations were less so. Mention of a new historical museum being developed in conjunction with the university briefly caught my attention. But, for the most part, the conversations revolved around projects for classes I was not taking or subjects that I simply lacked either the knowledge or anything substantive to add. Given the butterflies already mating in my middle and the general feeling of being a third wheel, the conversational disconnect just added to my conviction that I was merely inconvenient to the evening. Still, I owed it to B to try to have a good time, so I kept my concentration on the conversations around me. We still had the club planned and I strove to shove the increasing feelings of dread out of my head.


	5. Chapter 4 - Bedazzled

Disclaimer: I do not own nor receive monetary value from anything Twilight and created by Stephenie Meyer. I appreciate her generosity in allowing others to play with her creations and share the love. I claim my own characters and plots outside of her creations. At no time is any copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 4 – Bedazzled

Jasper POV

It was amazing the number of skills I'd learned in the name of survival that proved useful in my new life with the Cullens. While in charge of Maria's army, my ability to monitor and control emotions was invaluable to Maria and a form of torture for me. Until joining the Cullens, I'd never actually seen any benefit to being an empath. Now, however, it was showing itself to be a mixed blessing. I shrugged that thought aside.

I watched Emmett bend to align himself for another shot at the pool table we'd claimed for ours. It was a pleasant sports bar and grill we'd picked as a hang out, and was another new experience for me. Edward would join us later, but I took my responsibilities seriously and maintained an active, yet unobtrusive, monitor of the emotional currents of the humans around us. I shook my head internally, bemused.

Life with the Cullens was certainly far easier than the life I'd led before. Yet, I'd never been so actively challenged as a vampire. There was, of course, the eternal vigilance and control over my thirst. This task was never more important than it was now. There was the requirement to guard my new family from discovery and the new twinned need to continue the masquerade of humanity, a need that had finally given usefulness to my talent. As a consequence, there was a new thread of my attention constantly timing the little movements of my body: blinking, when to shift my weight and balance and being sure to never stand too long, change my expression, and the many different ways to simply fidget. All carefully calculated to reassure the humans in view and help keep from marking ourselves further as "other." Strangely, I found it remarkably entertaining. Another part of my attention was devoted to studying Emmett and this current past time. As a nomad, I'd never willingly placed myself in such an atmosphere. Way too many humans to control physically, and unless I actually wanted to massacre an entire herd of them, well. Just no. So the opportunities to learn the game of pool had never come up.

Pool was one of the activities that allowed us to indulge in our natures while remaining completely unnoticed. Unnoticed, that is, unless Emmett tried to see how many balls he could hit between the cue ball and the one he was seeking to sink. Right now, he was confining himself to the human range, given the number of humans close enough to see what he was doing. Still, I was enjoying it, calculating the force necessary and the angles required to precisely place the ball in the pocket. Momentarily, my focus shifted as I lost myself in the study of a particularly tricky shot. Emmett shoved me playfully, a grin on his face even as his eyes warned me. I'd let myself become distracted too much and was too still. I laughed even as I internally refocused and faked a stagger from his shove. Yes, I definitely enjoyed the challenge of this new life.

Currently, the Cullens were in the college phase of their masquerade. And in keeping with that age range, we were now indulging in the expected social past times. I was still a little puzzled as to why we'd need to do so in this manner. Emmett had assigned himself my "be human" mentor. The happy-go-lucky friendly buffoon exterior masked a serious and razor sharp mind. I had rapidly come to be honored to call him my brother.

Shrugging to myself, I quietly asked, "Em, why are we here? Aren't you guys usually reclusive in school?"

Emmett shrugged while he moved around the table, studying the remaining balls. "We're really not doing anything different now than we do then. We're still keeping to ourselves, we're just playing pool instead of pretending to eat." He flashed me one of his crooked grins even as his eyes flicked around the room. I wasn't the only one actually watching them. "Besides, this is prime human study time. There's no place better to watch their timing, drunk, sober, happy, sad, talking, dancing. It's a whole fucking classroom!" Emmett ducked slightly, glancing guilty around. I was puzzled for a split second then I snickered. Emmett was looking around to make sure Esme hadn't sneaked up behind him to hear his outburst. I ducked my head slightly, even as I shifted my feet and adjusted my hands on the pool cue. As I did, I spied the glass of ice water sitting on its coaster. I grimaced to myself as it reminded me of yet another little prop. I picked the glass up and took a sip, even as I stilled the instinctive shudder.

Water was utterly and disgustingly tasteless and thin. The ice made it even worse. Water was one of the few things our bodies could handle without actually having to purge it. Not that it was particularly pleasant to drink, or to not purge. We got no actual benefit from it. Yet blood was also mostly water and we handled that just fine. One of those little mysteries. All that said, if given the choice, I much preferred hot water, not tepid, not merely warm. Hot. Far, far easier to drink that way. Blood temperature to be precise. Not that I'd actually characterize that particular temperature in precisely that way in front of a human. I knew Emmett could see my amusement when he threw me a questioning look. I shook my head slightly as I turned a greater part of my attention to the humans in the bar. Another thought on the subject of hot water niggled at the back of my attention and I filed it away for later.

My attention had been caught by a new group of people. I watched them pick their table and sit even as I asked Emmett another question. "Is Rosalie going to join us?"

"Yeah. She's helping Esme at the moment and will join us when they are done for the day." Emmett deliberately missed pocketing his ball and moved back to allow me to shoot. I deliberately missed as well. Something was nudging at me about the new people and I wanted the opportunity to continue to study them. Emmett gave me an odd look but moved back to pocket the last ball and rack for a new break.

The group of humans that had grabbed my attention had me puzzled. As a group, they were unremarkable. Yet, one of the ladies was quite beautiful, especially for a human. She was unusually short, petite, with long dark mahogany hair to the middle of her back. It was gently wavy with a shine that begged for hands to be buried in the softness. She smiled at a comment one of the others made and I'd swear the light quality in the room changed and became brighter. She seemed very shy, as she didn't make eye contact with her companions. My whole impression of her was of extreme fragility. And honestly, if I took the time to examine myself, my interest in her and in them would have left me both astonished and baffled.

Emmett moved back, and I took my place as it was my turn to break. I hardly paused to note the sharp crack or the three balls that pocketed themselves. A greater part of my attention was consumed by the group of humans and the emotions swirling around them. Emmett gave me another grin as he started working his way around the table again. I didn't really care. At this distance, the exact source of each emotion was difficult to define. A touch of wistfulness and boredom seemed out of place for a group that was busy laughing and obviously enjoying themselves. Why did I care?

Emmett and I continued our games of pool, while I watched that little group of humans. There were several couples in that group, who were frequently getting up to enjoy the small dance floor. Each time they left the table, the feeling of wistfulness increased. The dark haired girl never got up, and I concluded the emotions were from her. She wanted to dance? A flash of annoyance and anger surged through me that the men in her group were so lost to gentlemanly behavior that they did not ask her to dance at least once. In my day, even if you arrived with a lady, if you were in a group, a gentleman made sure that all the ladies in the group enjoyed themselves.

"Trouble?" came a quiet question.

I glanced at Emmett even as I noted the tension in my own body. Deliberately relaxing, I shook my head. "Just a stray thought."

"You look like you are having a lot of those." Emmett said with a laugh.

"A lot of what?" I started frowning. An argument had broken out at a table near the girl. Emotions were rising rapidly, and I didn't like it.

Emmett laughed harder. "Those." Irritated, I turned my attention away and looked at Emmett.

"Come on, bro. You've been distracted most of the night. Even more than usual for you. What's up?"

I shrugged one shoulder, even as I turned a greater part of my focus to the room at large. "I don't know. There's just something about her." The room was filling up, and I found myself tensing again. The drunken table was heating up. They'd soon start shoving each other or throwing punches.

It was Emmett's turn to look confused. "Who are you talking about?"

"The little brunette sitting alone at that large table next to the dance floor."

Emmett's eyes flicked over her, then back to me, a bemused look on his face. "What about her?"

I snorted. "If I knew, I'd not have just said I didn't know." Emmett laughed then looked behind me with a grin. "Just in time!"

I turned slightly to see Rosalie walking up. "Rosalie."

She smiled, "Jasper." Then she looked at Emmett and her smile softened and warmed. "Em." He reached for her and she swatted the back of her hand against his shoulder, even as she leaned into his chest as he hugged her from behind. "Dance with me, Beautiful?"

"Is that what I'm in time for?"

"Of course." She grinned and nodded before grabbing the hand Emmett was offering her.

Emmett tossed over his shoulder, "Save our table, bro!" Then he led Rose onto the dance floor.

I laid my pool cue down onto the table and I leaned my hip carefully against the edge. Now I could watch the crowd under the pretext of watching Em and Rose. I noticed a bouncer having a word to the drunk group that had been becoming an increasing concern to me. Good. At least the humans were on top of things.

The clarity of the emotions that suddenly hit me caught me by surprise as much as the feelings of entrapment and panic. I looked over and was moving before I fully processed what I saw. A large human male, reeking a confidence completely at odds with the paunch and slightly seedy air was leaned over the girl. I guessed her feelings of being trapped were because he was completely filling the space outside her seat. She was leaning away from him in the only direction open to her, into the table at which she was seated. I could hear him muttering to her even as I approached.

"... know you wanna. Come on, missy. Just a little dance. I'll show ya a good time!"

"No, thanks. I'd rather wait..."

"Now, don't be like that. I'm just offering a friendly..." He was leaned down further into her face, and she turned her head slightly to avoid the beery gust.

"Hey, friend. Maybe you should listen to the lady. She said no." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the twin surprised looks on Em and Rose's faces echoing the astonishment they were feeling. They didn't stop dancing but they were paying close attention. As for me, I was feeling pretty surprised too. The surge of protectiveness I was feeling for this girl was very foreign to me. The only other time I'd felt this was when... but I refused to let my mind go there.

Her face turned toward me, a look of gratitude mixing with uncertainty ran across her expression. I noticed for the first time that her eyes weren't actually focusing. Shoving that observation aside, I centered more of my attention to the swaying ox in front of me. Locking my eyes with his I shoved feelings of caution and enough confusion to further scramble his beer soggy brain.

"Look, bub..." he began and I shoved a hefty helping of outright fear at him. I watched him stagger backward away from her, and not so incidentally, me. "I..I don't want no trouble." Flushing, he turned and weaving slightly, made his way back to the bar. I noticed one of the bouncers making his way over to him.

Smirking internally, I turned back as I heard, "Umm, thank you?"

"It was my pleasure, ma'am." I shifted my weight and started to move back toward our table when I heard, "Wait. May I offer you a seat?"

"Pardon?" I turned back and once again noticed her unfocused eyes. Her hand was reached out toward me, but not close to touching. She wasn't drunk. I couldn't even smell any alcohol, although I noted her scent was enchanting beneath the smelly musk so many human females doused themselves in.

She flushed, "Well, my friends seem to have left me and it's a little lonely sitting here. Would you mind joining me?" Uncertainty and unease chased themselves through her and I hesitated. If she was reacting to my presence, then why invite me to stay? And yet, this was part of what I'd been wanting all along. I finally had an excuse to find the answers to the simple question: why. Why am I interested? Why do I feel protective? Why do I care who she is and why do I want to come closer to her? I felt torn, instinct told me to both stay and to go. I flicked a glance at Em, and suddenly decided. Wasn't he urging me to increase my interactions with the humans? Who was I to ignore a golden opportunity? Perhaps her emotions had far more to do with the recent encounter and not so much a reaction to me. No harm in finding out. I think.

"It would be my pleasure, ma'am." She giggled slightly under her breath, probably too low for a human to hear, as I pulled out a chair next to her.

"I'm Alice."

"Jasper. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance." The smile that bloomed across her face was dazzling. Who knew humans could dazzle?


End file.
